Holding Pattern

There’s not much news to report these days, is there? We had a quiet New Year’s Eve at home, with movies and a jigsaw puzzle. I insisted on a ritualistic burning of some 2020 items, but my family’s lack of enthusiasm and tepid flames made it really quite unsatisfying for me.

And since then we’ve all been, well, hanging around at home. Cute W’s work is remote through MLK Day, a move we support, especially since some colleague’s families have had the virus recently. J’s school has been remote, too, and even if the hybrid learning resumes next week, she’s likely to stay home. It’s abundantly clear from social media that students traveled for the holidays, and we’d just as soon lay low until the post-holiday surge subsides.

For me, it feels a bit like we’ve circled back to March 2020. Early on I was so stressed about even going out the the grocery store, and I was doing my “yoga for anxiety” and desperately trying to keep an even keel as I fretted about what tomorrow would bring. And then we sort of adjusted to the new normal, at least for a while. I stayed busy with work and political volunteering and trying to support whatever the girls needed, and Cute W was excellent about coming up with a real vacation that kept us safe. Then, with the election results and M finally settled into her job on her own and good news about possible vaccines, I was cautiously optimistic. . . was it possible that we could feel kind of happy sometime soon?

The answer is not yet. Actually, M’s doing well. Her job is good, she’s made friends, she’s skiing and snowboarding. I think that she’s about as happy as she can be under the circumstances. And here at home, at least we all really like each other and get along. We spend some time laughing around the dinner table. J is trying to develop a green thumb for a growing number of plants in her room, and she’s taken up the trumpet again.

But watching the county COVID numbers rise and keeping an eye on the news is pretty discouraging. Recently I made a hair appointment– I haven’t had a cut since long before lockdown — and then when I heard that a friend nearby had COVID, I lost my nerve and canceled the appointment. I’m switching into “radical self care” mode again, which has involved a variety of tactics, some more successful than others, that have included (but are not limited to) meditation, extra walks, tequila, evening stretches, home manicures, binge watching old Grey’s Anatomy episodes, and new work out routines. Will it also include getting back into a regular blog posting schedule? Only time will tell.

Stay well, everyone.


  1. Claire

    I’m back to March too. The only exception being that the library is open (unlike in March), so I will pop in there briefly to pick up books I have placed on hold. Otherwise, just the grocery store. I actually think that risk-wise, our region is in worse shape than it was in March, except that at least now people are masked in public, which makes grocery shopping less scary. It infuriates me that so much of this could have been prevented. It did not need to get this bad.

  2. Claire

    I hear you. Between my fury about the way the pandemic has been mishandled, and now my fury at the events of last week, I am spending way too much time in anger.

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