I Was Luckily Not Forced to “Do A Billy Idol”

No doubt you’re wondering. . . did anyone actually show up to the dance party? Well, I’ll tell you, I was pretty panicked about it. Double-booking with the elementary school talent show was a potentially fatal error. It was pretty demoralizing to have a Facebook event in which I’d invited dozens and dozens of people, and the result was a very few number of people “Going” and then a scattering of “Interested” people. Ugh. And there were  two people whom I had previously assumed were, you know, super-fun people who each told me, basically, that they were going to go to bed early and therefore couldn’t make it to my party that started at 7 pm on a Friday night. I have re-calibrated my estimation of their fun level. Drastically. Then someone on Facebook said that she was coming and bringing friends, except I’d never heard of her and her profile picture was one of those generic blue silhouettes. So then I was like, is this some made-up person who just likes to mess with hopeful hostesses as some sort of perverse game? Because that is not funny.

So I was fretting about no one coming, and meanwhile, Cute W was fretting about the sound system. When I’d planned the party, I basically figured I could bring over the speakers attached to my computer, set them on “loud,” and be done with it. However, Cute W assured me that this was entirely insufficient. He ended up tearing apart our living room sound system, which is multiple pieces of equipment, which, according to W, had been some sort of not-to-be-missed Woot deal or the like. It was like, back when we got a new, big tv, he felt like the tv would be deprived if it did not have an adequate sound system. I guess in the same way that I might feel that a dress requires new shoes. But I digress. Along with taking apart our sound system and then vacuuming up all of the dust bunnies he’d dislodged by doing so, Cute W also set up a redundant playlist system in case his phone spontaneously combusted. Or something. So I was worried that not a single person would come, or four people who didn’t know or like each other would come, while Cute W was afraid that many people would come, and then somehow the music would be unplayable and dancing would be impossible.

So we did what we could. I started becoming more and more desperate. I showed up at the community center when I figured that the Niskayuna Moms’ Group would be there, because I thought that it was a very convenient and fun moms’ night out. And the young women there looked at me and smiled politely and waited for me to move along, and I did, as quickly as I could, but just seeing how dewy and young-looking they were made my hips and back start hurting. I shared our dance playlist for potential guest review via Facebook in the hopes that it would suck people in. I shared the event on the Capital District Fun Facebook page, and then cursed Facebook when they reported that only 22 people even saw the damn thing in their feed (shaking my fist). I also made a very pretty donation can. In fact, as I made it, I was telling myself grimly that, “If making an adorable donation can has any impact on this party’s success, then surely this will be a successful party.”


On the day of the dance party, I had heard that the talent show, which the director had told me would run until 8:30 pm, was more likely to run until 10 pm, making any hopes of getting after-partiers impossible. Around mid-day my friend called to check up on me, and possibly I burst into tears and began ranting about my lack of friends. She swore she’d come and bring some people.

We arrived 45 minutes early and the commander of the post, his wife, and teenage daughter were already there. I consoled myself that that counted as three people. Even though it didn’t, really, because they’re there quite a bit. It’s a pretty good and easy set-up for a party. The place has roughly a ga-jillion tables and chairs, so we pushed a bunch of them aside for dance space. Cute W got his music set up and started playing it loudly. Not too long after 7 pm the first people arrived, and now it’s a blur, but one of the first arrivals was the alleged imaginary Facebook woman, who turned out to be an actual person with a friend in tow and another planning to arrive later. A couple of good old friends showed up early, too, so that was excellent, because no matter what, I was happy to see them. My friend who’d promised to bring along a pack arrived much later after having gotten everyone drunk enough so that there was flamboyant dancing and slurred requests for disco beyond the standard must-haves. So it ended up working out pretty well. Maybe 25 or 35 people? And at the end of the night, my very pretty donation can contained $351. Plus people bought drinks at the bar, so any profits or tips go to the Niskayuna Legion Post & Fisher House Foundation, too.


Oh, and also, I had a marvelous time. I really do love dancing.

Many, many people who came said we must, must, must do it again, and I’m pretty sure that at least most of them weren’t just being polite. So I’m thinking about Friday, June 10th for the next one. Except, last time, I set the date and missed out on important conflicts. So before I make a flyer and Facebook event page and everything, anybody know of important community conflicts? And who’s coming this time?





  1. Susan

    Alleged imaginary Facebook woman here 🙂 I’m up for doing it again on the 10th and will bring even more friends next time!

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