Elf Invasion

So, did I tell you that I got sucked into the whole Elf-on-a-Shelf thing? I know! You never thought it would happen to me, right? I mean, I refuse a single evening of leprechaun mayhem, and now I’m sucked into an advent calendar’s worth of cheeky poses by a plush figure. Sigh.

Little J mentioned–repeatedly–that she wished an elf would come to our house.  Like her friends, whose homes have been invaded by elves. And I’m particularly vulnerable because this could be J’s Last Year of Believing. You might remember that her big sister, M, has been an unbeliever for a long, long time. She inherited Cute W’s blond hair, snarky sense of humor, and skepticism. But J–oh, sweet J!–is her mother’s daughter: freckle-faced, self-critical, and full of faith.

So I went to the store and found an Elf on a Shelf “kit” that cost about $30. Jeez. Ridiculous. I bought it because I was desperate, then went to another store and found a $12 plushee option. I returned the “kit,” which included a book. I figured we’ve all got the basic idea anyway. On my way to return it, I noticed that the $30 girl-elf option had a little disclaimer: “skirt not included.” Okay, $30, and she doesn’t even get a skirt!?! I felt even better about my $12 skirted elf.

Now, if I’d read the book I might know that the elves aren’t supposed to communicate (or is that allowed?), but I’m a verbal sort, so the elf arrived with a note declaring the girls randomly chosen for an Elf Inspection for the 2012 Christmas season. I just felt like we needed some back story. Also, I named her Holly.

J was thrilled. M was tolerant and good-humored about it, although she told J with great authority that elves often bring treats.

The next night, Holly moved over to the mantel because J had a drawn a little sign with her name on it, so I thought that the elf should acknowledge her efforts. Last night, though, I decided to take full advantage of the passive-aggressive power of the elf. I perched her in the playroom with her hands on her hips and a little note that if anyone around here expected cookies or treats, they better tidy up.

This morning, J overslept, but M was feverishly cleaning the playroom. When I gave her a good morning hung, she held on and whispered in my ear, “I think it’s shameful the way you’re manipulating us with that elf!” I smiled back and murmured that I had no idea what she was talking about.

Tomorrow morning, Holly will be showcasing some chocolates. She’s pretty cute sitting cross-legged. By the way, on the left is a cross stitch I did myself and on the right you can see Cute W and his big sister meeting Santa Claus a long time ago.

I really do think the whole elf idea is creepy. But J’s ecstatic. And even when she wasn’t around, M apparently went on an elf hunt all by herself. So I guess I’m sucked in for this season.

8 Comments

  1. Colleen

    Ahhh! I’m about to be sucked in myself! I was hearing “But Mommy, EVERYONE has an elf!!” and then yesterday was told, “Mommy, J even has an elf!” and then I knew it was true. Sigh. lol. Luckily with so many friends posting what their elf is up to, and even a board of ideas on Pinterest, I won’t have to put too much thought into it. But I’m going with the same elf as you. As she also commented yesterday “Mommy, the eyes on that other one follow you wherever you go!” Creeeeeeeepy!

  2. @Meghan, I was honestly thinking of putting Holly in a green dress at St. Patrick’s Day, just as a joke.
    @Colleen, I’m sorry to continue the Elf Escalation. Truly.

  3. Heather

    Noooo, say it isn’t so! I know, I know: Never say never, I too may have to cave one day. But I just can’t stand those creepy spies.

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