Chillin’. Also, My Children Are Confident In My Non-Performance-Based Love For Them.

Hey! How’s everyone?

Today was a lazy day. After gymnastics and soccer for the girls in the morning, 3 out of 4 of us took a nap, and mine was a record-breaking TWO HOURS. That’s right, baby! I also organized a closet and listed a bunch of outgrown toys on Craig’s List. I know, I know: I talk about the fun, but sometimes I’m just all talk. Fun can get exhausting. I also met someone who only knows me through Capital District Fun/KidsOutAndAbout, and that is always excellent. Please, please, please do say hi if you see me and know me, because I won’t know you. And then I have, like, a warm fuzzy all day.

Tonight we went to a neighbor’s bonfire up the street, and it was just what we needed: fun, but super easy. The girls ended  up wrapped in blankets and half asleep by the time we headed home.

The first week of school went well. J is a little high stress because that’s how she rolls, but she’s starting to ease in a bit. M is happy to update me on the various lunchtime eating configurations and her current favorite teachers. She had a funny analysis of teachers and how quickly it takes them to “acknowledge my awesomeness.” Some teachers were quick and vocal with praise, others are a bit slower to warm up, but she’s so goofy about it, because while she knows that some teachers take time, if a few weeks go by and any of these teachers don’t think that she’s, like, one of their favorite students ever, she’ll assume that they are just confused or ignorant in some way. In her opinion, any failure to “acknowledge her awesomeness” after a suitable time period will be the fault of the teacher and have absolutely nothing to do with her because she is, objectively, awesome. Will this self-confidence last through middle school? I have no idea, but I just ordered Schoolgirls on PaperBackSwap to see if I can preserve it.

Speaking of kid confidence, did you see the “6 Words You Should Say Today. . .” post, in which the author suggests that you start phrases with “I love to watch you play” and similar statements?  She made a great pitch, and when she tried this technique, she was rewarded with a relieved and love-drenched hug from her daughter that seemed like a revelation. I was inspired.

What about my children? I think I’m pretty out-there with my Deep And Abiding Love For Them. I don’t think they feel pressured to perform or anything. But, could I be wrong? Do they secretly fret about pleasing me? And, if so, would this be a magic elixir of acceptance that would burst upon them and make their hearts sing with gladness? Possible. And if it’s it’s possible, surely it’s worth a try.

So I said to M, “I love to watch you juggle that [soccer] ball.”

Do you know how she responded? Do you? Do you?

Without missing a beat she said, “I love to watch you give me a backrub.”

Seriously, man?

I tried J.

“I love to watch you doing handstands,” I said to J.

“Well, of course,” she replied. “Who wouldn’t?”

Yeah, as it turns out, I think they’re good.


  1. Erin T

    I just reread that six words post last night and was feeling all guilty because I hadn’t absorbed it too much over the months since I first read it (and spent a week telling my kids how much I love to watch them do stuff). Your post made me feel so much better and made me laugh. Thank you!

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