I haven’t been posting much, lately.
The problem with skipping out on posting for a few days is that getting back into the rhythm is rough. Do I start with the important event that I should have shared ten days ago, or that trivial incident that just happened? And, in the midst of considering those two options, if I consider them long enough, something will happen that will prevent me from writing about either topic. A daughter will request some fancy hair-braiding, my Slack channel will ping that someone’s asking me about a work question, or I’ll remember that I need to get dinner finished extra-early if M’s going to shovel down some food between track practice and soccer practice. And next thing you know, more time has passed, and just getting started begins to feel intimidating. Which it totally shouldn’t. It makes zero logical sense. But there it is.
So I was in a slump, which became a ditch, and then a pit. I’m going to try to climb out of it. But before I do, here are
all of my excuses selected excuses (I can always think of more!) for not writing, just as a sort of de-cluttering process for my brain.
I shouldn’t even be writing this post because I need to update WordPress. It clearly says “Please update now.” I totally should. But before I update, I have to back up. And before I back up, I need to pull up my instructions on how to back up, because in between back ups/updates, I forget how to do it. But at this rate, why would I update a blog that I’m not even writing?
When I have gaps in writing, it means I’m behind on updating my Events page. I have no idea if anyone actually looks at that page these days, but I am Morally Responsible for keeping it up-to-date, so sometimes when I start to write a post, instead I look at that Events page and realize how out of date it is, so instead of writing I go back to KidsOutAndAbout to export the events listed there, and half the time that makes me realize that something is missing, so I start adding events, and I’ve lost track of the writing I was going to do.
My laptop died. I tend to use my laptop for blog posts and mindless KidsOutAndAbout work, and then I use my desktop computer for KidsOutAndAbout work that needs my full brain, but really, I will switch back and forth as a break if I’m doing too much on one or the other. I am on the computer a lot. So with my laptop out of commission, not only has my favorite blog-posting equipment been unavailable, but I have been spending so much time sitting at the same desk in the same little corner of my house that it’s really not, like, the most healthful choice for me, physically and emotionally. So I’ve been skipping out on unnecessary computer typing. Don’t worry: I’m getting a new laptop soon.
I can only say so much about my kids. Sometimes they may or may not do things that are really stupid or annoying or embarrassing, but I try not to focus on that, or at least refuse to identify who did what for plausible deniability, because they don’t need me putting that crap out into the world. On the flip side of the coin, they are really super-awesome most of the time. Knock on wood, but I have two girls who are excellent students, hardworking and coachable athletes, generally helpful and kind, and easy on the eyes. If I recounted every time that I thought that they were doing something super-awesome, it would probably be pretty irritating. I try to keep myself down to quarterly Facebook brags for the same reason.
I am trying to limit myself on current events commentary. I am pretty much constantly riled up about current events. I literally can’t even think about that gymnastics “doctor” without starting to cry (no joke: eyes welling up now). Also pretty much weepy about references to school shootings, and I am just. . . riled up. The political system feels so, so crazy, and so it’s a mental health issue, because it’s sometimes better to try to take a break from it or to call politicians or to do something besides writing as a coping mechanism. Writing about current events consumes serious time and emotional energy if I want to get it right for myself, and there’s usually someone else who’s doing a better job with it, anyway. But sometimes it’s at the forefront of my mind and I feel like I can’t write about X because Y is crowding out my thoughts. And then I have to decide if I’m going to write about Y and throw it away just to clear my brain or if I’m going to try to write about Y and put it on the blog, or I procrastinate and hope it goes away.
Work has been busy. We’re growing and trying to put processes into place to deal with the increased workload, but meanwhile that means that there’s extra work from not only the increased workload but also the work of figuring out all of those processes, putting them into place, and communicating them. It has been taking more time than usual, and more brainpower than usual.
I have been having wicked headaches. I believe that they may be connected to changes in barometric pressure, because they’re awful just before and during snowstorms. Before the last snowstorm I felt like I had the worst hangover ever. Is this something that happens as we age? Ugh. Headaches make it tough for me to focus on anything. And, FYI, yes, I do have an impending-storm headache at this moment. #weathergirl
The kids have been really busy. Which is great, but it can be a time-suck. Sometimes I’m trying to cook dinner by 4:45 pm so that someone can eat and digest before a practice. And speaking of practices, there is a ton of laundry happening. And yes, in a pinch the girls can make their own food and do their own laundry, but it’s less stressful if I can mostly keep it humming along.
I am trying to move a little more. Like I said, I’ve been spending tons of time at my desk, so I’m trying to get myself moving a little more, whether it’s an hour at a JCC class or a quickie workout via app before I shower or a walk outside. Which is all well and good, but that stuff takes time, and it all adds up.
Now I’ve got a queue. There are so many things I thought of writing about and didn’t, and so again I need to sort of de-clutter. We’re all better off if I just write one thing at a time each day, so I’m going to try to get back to that. We’ll see how I do.