I’ve been in a bit of a funk ever since we returned from vacation. Exhausted and disorganized and crabby. Really, everyone’s been feeling that way, like we’re all lurching and scrabbling on a hill and we just can’t find our footing. For a while I was trying to catch up on it all, and more recently I’ve been jettisoning activities and procedures in a frantic attempt to stay afloat. I’m setting pots & pans directly on the dining table to save on washing all of those serving bowls that I usually like to use because they’re more dignified. J’s been lobbying to quit dance and when I realized that we were on her last paid-for session I blew it off entirely. Ditto Girl Scouts, which she’d only consented to try because every single friend at school was doing it. Yesterday we skipped out on a neighborhood Halloween party that we attend every year because the girls practically begged to stay home and practice their instruments and veg on the couch.
It’s helped. I do feel a bit lighter.
But it’s still not enough. I’m still bummed, and there are so many things wrong that I can’t decide which thing to tackle first. I started off trying to get down to some Disney writing, but meanwhile the house was getting messier and more disorganized around me. I was doing a great job of eating super-healthfully before the vacation, and I’ve been off the wagon, big-time, since I came home. I’ve started to realize that with the girls gone all day and my work on the computer, I’ve become pretty socially isolated and I spend waaaay too much time just in front of a screen. Plus I’m still overtired, and I’ve had massive blog-blahs: I’m just not into it. And I was struggling with technical difficulties. Cute W’s resolved my technical issues, at least. But meanwhile I’ve spent the last day or two trying to decide what I need to do to improve my perspective. Do I need a whole day of just sleep and relaxation? A day or two of massive cleaning and reorganizing? Should I slack on the blog and write a novel instead? Do random good deeds? Figure out a way to see people during the day? Dump every piece of Halloween candy while nobody’s looking?
It’s ridiculous, I know, but I’ve usually got some course of self-improvement going. Right now there are so many potential fixes that I’m having trouble prioritizing. I’ve been trying to go to sleep earlier. I just made several healthful-but-yummy recipes that I’m hoping will cheer me up while diverting me from the leftover candy. I’ve instituted an extra daily 20-minute neighborhood walk because, hey, who couldn’t use more fresh air and physical activity? I sent a thank you note and the karma came right back with a thank you note for me. I’m going to try to catch up on the cleaning/reorganizing this week, and by the end of the week I’ll get rid of a bunch of stuff in our garage for our nursery school garage sale.
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Funny, because I started writing this, and then today we had conferences with both girls’ teachers. The teachers are wonderful, and they think that our kids are great. Really, in the grand scheme of how all school conferences can possibly go, it was stellar. We are 2 for 2 with girls who are smart, hard-working, well-behaved, and comfortable socially. Seriously, that’s unbelievable. Of course we would deal with it if we had to negotiate with specialists about an IEP or make great efforts to help them find friends. I mean, of course. We could, and would, deal with whatever was required of us. But it’s such a gift that right now, they’re doing great.
So any organization successes in one section of my house are likely to come at the expense of some other corner that’s simultaneously going to hell, and I don’t see a dramatic body transformation coming anytime soon and, alas for you, the blog posts will sometimes be uninspired or even missed entirely.
But I’ve got two personal projects that are coming along very nicely, thank you.